capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
