I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
