Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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