Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
