I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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