Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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