And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
