did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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