Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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