Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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