Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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