please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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