its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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