oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
