I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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