Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
