That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize