4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just had sex on a roof
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
