dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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