genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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