Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
