One girl and one boy is just not enough.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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