She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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