i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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