her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He better not be in your backpack
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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