Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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