Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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