I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
