I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
