i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can't talk, ducks in the car
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
