take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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