love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
