the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
