i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
