Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize