We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Please don't give away my fajitas
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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