I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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