I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
