I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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