i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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