You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
