dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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