do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
