pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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