high people should be assigned attendants
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
