It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
