he wants to bone in the snuggie
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
