toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
