she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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