if you like me you must not know who I am
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize