I accidentally burped into my bong.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
