Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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