In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
