babies were throwing up all over the place
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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