i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
