I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
